A Non-Fiction Novel Depicting The Events Of September 23rd - 28th, 1001
Written By The Doctor and Twilight Sparkle
An Unexpected Guest
Twilight was tired.
She had been throwing books around the whole day, and she still hadn't finished.
Interruption after interruption had distracted her from her work, and she was beginning to become restless and irritated. Regardless, Twilight had told off in what she thought was the most polite manner possible everybody who had come to bother her, as she simply could NOT afford interruptions.
She was creating a cure.
Not a cure for any ordinary disease or virus for any ordinary pony, but one that had struck her very own assistant, Spike. Spike had been struck by the flu! The flu wasn't something that struck ponies or unicorns or pegasus, but many other kinds of wildlife. Spike, notwithstanding. Twilight had been making a fuss about it all morning because she had never recalled a dragon receiving the flu in over three hundred years.
In reality, she was just flustered nopony was around to help her pick up and help her with the books, she wasn't scared for Spike at all; she knew that nothing would happen to him. She would most certainly not have a single problem with curing him in time for an important guests arrival. Her guest was to be arriving soon, and she wanted the place looking ship-shape, and cleaning the place up had proven to be difficult task for Twilight alone.
CRASH!
"Huh?! What in Celestia's name was that?"
Twilight quickly ran back up to where Spike had been laying, in hopes that nothing had harmed him. Close enough, a large box had fallen through the ceiling and landed directly to Spike's left. Still sleeping sound like a child, Spike simply rolled over as if he had been pushed out of a comfortable position.
Twilight was having a fair bit of trouble taking all of this in at once: Spike's adorable but sometimes reckless deep sleeping habits having gone way too far, and the appearance of this blue box which had fallen through the roof of her own home! Through the hole it had made, she could see Rainbow Dash staring down from a cloud with a completely dumbstruck face. Twilight couldn't blame her, she had trouble making sense of the scene as well.
Twilight had nearly fainted when the box opened up, and out stepped a brown stallion with a very ruffled mane and tail.. had she seen this pony before? She knows she has, but she can't exactly put a hoof as to where.
"Oh, um. Hello!" said the mysterious male. Twilight didn't really have any choice but to respond.
"Um, hi? I, uh-" The mysterious stallion cut her off,
"No time, I'll return in a moment! I need to check something." She could hardly get a word out before the stallion had went galloping out of the door, leaving Twilight in the wind looking completely and utterly confused.
After some time waiting for him to return, Twilight began wondering what exactly she should do with this box. It wasn't something that she was familiar with in the least, nothing of the sort existed anywhere in the whole wide world of Equestria as far as Twilight knew.
In a moment, Rainbow Dash came flying down through the hole that the machine had left, and rolled onto Twilight a whole whirlwind of questions.
"What in Celestia's name is this thing? Who was that stallion? Why did this thing appear in the middle of nowhere?! What's going on!?! What is--" Once again, the stallion interrupted rudely.
He had returned, and his hair was in an even lesser condition.
"Oh, two of you now! I'd like to ask some questions of my own but I can imagine you're both a little curious yourselves. I just needed to check my hair." The two girls simply sat, dumbfounded by this mans complete lack of reaction to the situation.
"Who are you, and how did you do.. THIS?!" Twilight pointed over at the blue box that had wrecked a good half of her bedroom.
"I'm the doctor, and that is the TARDIS." had been the simple response. Rainbow Dash immediately piped up.
"What do you mean, the doctor? Doctor who?"
"No, just The Doctor." Twilight felt a little more entitled to be asking the questions seeing as how it was her house that was wrecked, and interrupted Rainbow Dash in the middle of another spiral of questions,
"Why, or how, did you crash into my house with that thing? It definitely doesn't look like something that would be capable of flying." The Doctor wore a face that had shown he was a little uncomfortable, but the response was swift regardless.
"That is the TARDIS, which stands for the Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. Now, may I ask a few questions myself now that I've introduced me and my machine?"
The Doctor hadn't even waited for a response before blasting off.
"Great, okay, where am I?" Twilight responded quickly to the question.
"You're in Ponyville."
"Okay, Ponyville. That seems fair enough, what about the time? What year is it, month, day?"
"It's uh, on--"
"Actually I suppose that doesn't matter since I'm in a different universe. Everything's gotta be topsy turvy around here! Moving on, I-"
"ENOUGH! What are you TALKING about?! You crash into my library with only Celestia knows what, and I need answers!"
"....Yes, I suppose that's only fair. Ask away."
By the time the question session was over, Twilight had a splitting headache thinking about what she had just learned, and Rainbow Dash was pacing the floor trying to make sense of it all. The Doctor was simply making himself a meal with a big grin on his face, as if the most amazing thing had happened to him in all of the land.
"What's the matter with you?" Began Twilight.
"Why are you so happy? You ruined a part of my house and then tell me about this amazing machine you've got, and you've forced me not to tell a soul... and you look like you just won the Great Galloping Gala!"
"You say that like you want me to be a grump! There's nothing wrong with a smile. I'd even say you couldn't keep a smile off of this face, I think I had a grin from ear to ear the last time I was fighting the Daleks..." The Doctor's voice trailed off near the end, and Twilight didn't exactly catch what he had said. She also didn't particularly care. Rainbow Dash began yet another question.
"So, that thing you've got.. The TARDIS you called it.. It lets you travel into time?"
"That'd be correct."
"And you can travel around as well.. like, to different places in the same time?"
"Well, that is what I told you, wasn't it?"
"And it's bigger on the inside than the outside. Right?"
"You're on a roll, Paindow Gash!"
"Rainbow Dash."
"Mainbow Rash."
"RAINBOW DA-- Just, nevermind. Is there anything else that thing can do?"
The Doctor looked at the ground for a second, clearly put into a trance, a whirlwhind of thoughts going through his head. Then he began.
"The TARDIS is a living thing. It has a soul. It can get into your head and and do remarkable things that any timetraveler could use, like translating alien languages. It doesn't just travel through time and space, but it also travels between universes! And I'll tell you something, this universe is the coolest one I've ever visited. Absolutely remarkable! It doesn't follow the laws of physics that are common between most universes, and it seems to practically make its own rules. And I mean, ponies! Of all things, the main species are ponies. Absolutely INCREDIBLE!”
The two ponies shared a confused glance, wondering what other kinds of species could possibly be the ‘main ones’ if this ‘Doctor’ wasn’t exactly ‘used’ to it.. regardless of being a pony himself.
“Anyways, that's just about all of what the TARDIS does. Oh, and I should also mention that it's practically indestructible. Good luck trying to break into it!"
Rainbow Dash and Twilight blinked in awe for a couple of seconds. Twilight rose out of her stupor long enough to manage a final question.
"Who ARE you?"
"I already told you. I'm The Doctor. I'm not Doctor Who, or Doctor What, or Doctor Where, Why, When, or How. I'm just THE DOCTOR." He said, with an obvious quiver in his voice, which Twilight oddly hadn’t noticed.
"Okay, point taken. Now, what are you going to do about the huge hole you made in my roof? How do you plan on fixing that?" The Doctor put this question into consideration for a moment, and then took a carefree look onto his face.
"I don't! Who needs roofs anyways? Or hoofs for that matter, I could really use opposable thumbs."
Twilight wondered why anybody would need one of those. After a fair bout of silence, The Doctor finally asked,
"Err, I don't suppose you have somewhere I can rest?" He then promptly collapsed.
Twilight gasped in shock and ran over to his side, lifting him up with her magic. She brought him over to the couch while Rainbow Dash observed from a short ways away, while Twilight brought out her first aid kit. She used her stethoscope to check if his heart was still beating. Indeed, it was, but with a beat that Twilight found to be very odd and irregular. She checked, and The Doctor was still breathing. In relief, Twilight sighed and sat down beside The Doctor.
"What a crazy stallion, don't you think Rainbow Dash?"
"I dunno Twilight, he's kind of cute! I mean, he is kind of.. What the hell?!"
Twilight was about to lecture Rainbow Dash on her use of language, but she turned around just as The Doctor let out a cloud of yellow gas. This did not make Twilight a happy pony. She began shaking him erratically with both hooves.
"Doctor, Doctor! Wake up, are you okay?!" The Doctor immediately sprang up.
"Did someone say my name?"
"Doctor, you were breathing out this yellow gas! Are you alright?! I think you're sick, we should take you to the hospital!"
"Oh, that's supposed to happen. Don't wake me up unless it's an emergency!" The Doctor promptly fell back to sleep, letting out another cloud of yellow gas.
Once again, Twilight sat in a stupor as this crazy man calling himself The Doctor who plunged through her roof in a blue box that was called the TARDIS that can travel through time and space and universes, was sleeping on her couch with what seemed like two hearts, breathing out this odd yellow gas, and none of it seemed to bother him in the least. This was a little too much for both Twilight and Rainbow Dash, and they both returned to Twilight's bed to get a little more sleep before.. Twilight gasped in realization as they were heading upstairs, and quickly ran over to the nearest clock. With an exasperated gasp, she thought wild thoughts as she ran around frantically.
‘She’s almost here?! I can’t believe I wasted so much time! It’s an absolute MESS in here!’
Princess Celestia was coming over for her weekly visit with her faithful student. And Twilight had a mysterious stallion named only The Doctor laying on her couch.
Princess Celestia would be arriving soon. Twilight and Celestia arranged weekly visits for the two to catch up on whatever they couldn't during Twilight's usual letters, and Celestia would be here any minute now. Not only that, but Twilight had accomplished almost no work at all since her unusual time traveler’s arrival! With a quick gesture, Rainbow Dash flew after Twilight to help her clean up the rest of the books as quickly as possible. They made an attempt to make the place look, at the very least, hospitable before the Princess's arrival.
Once they had almost finished tidying up, they could hear the clopping of the hooves that meant Princess Celestia was right outside their door. Feeling relieved that they had at least managed to clean up, they then both gasped simultaneously when they looked over at The Doctor and realized that not everything was exactly ‘in place’. Panicking, Twilight asked Rainbow Dash to attempt to stall Princess Celestia while she tried to move The Doctor. What they hadn’t realized, was that Celestia was already making her way in.
“Hello, Twilight, my faithful... Pegasus?” Princess Celestia said, when Rainbow Dash was the one to answer the door.
“My apologies, I didn’t expect..... Who is that?” Everypony felt their gaze rest upon The Doctor, and then the two fillies slowly looked up at Princess Celestia frightfully.
“Who is this? I’ve never met him before.” Twilight had to ad-lib a sentence as quickly as possible,
“Uh, he’s a pony that I met while I was.. walking through the Everfree Forest! And then he said, that he was lost.. so I told him he could come back here and rest. And I guess he still.. hasn’t.. woken up?” Princess Celestia wasn’t buying it.
“Twilight, please don’t think I can’t tell when you’re lying to me. Would you kindly just tell me who this pony is, and why he is here? I don’t think it would do anybody any harm, and I believe I am entitled to know. Consider that I haven’t met him before, and I know the names of just about everypony in the whole of Equestria by heart!”
Twilight figured she didn’t have much of a choice in the matter, as it was considered downright disrespectful and in some cases blasphemy, to disregard, ignore, or reject the request of the Princess herself. Unwillingly, Twilight and Rainbow Dash led Celestia up the stairs, and to where the TARDIS had crashed through her ceiling.
“His name is The Doctor, and this is his transport.” Princess Celestia had simply stood there with a look of utter confusion shown on her face, and began seeing images that had not breached her mind for over a thousand years. ”guys”
‘ Haven’t I seen this before? ’ she thought briefly, but dismissed the thought in the midst of the confusion.
“Twilight, my faithful student, you are telling me that this machine that an odd pony brought along with him, is capable of doing things that even I, nor Luna, are capable of doing?” “hey guys” Twilight’s answer was brisk.
“I’m afraid there doesn’t seem to be much of another possibility, Princess Celestia. It doesn’t seem to have any way it could fly, and it crashed through my ceiling! The Doctor even took the liberty to show me inside, and I would never lie to you when I tell you.. it’s bigger on the inside than the outside.”
“guuuys” Princess Celestia’s curiosity was piqued.
“I’m very sorry, Twilight, but all of this is a little hard to take in at one time, even for me. Do you... think you could show me the inside?”
“GUUYS” Twilight’s eyes shone for a moment, but she then remembered what The Doctor had told her.
“It doesn’t open unless you have the key.”
“WOULD YOU ALL JUST LISTEN TO ME!” Princess Celestia almost gasped at the harsh tone that Rainbow Dash had used, and Twilight’s head quickly cocked over towards the blue pony, unusually comfortable with the sharp voice that Rainbow Dash used so often. The Doctor was with Rainbow Dash, which only struck Twilight with yet another wave of complete awe, and he then gave a few words once everypony’s attention was on him.
“Well, I’ve got the key! Let’s take a visit, shall we?”
Princess Celestia wasn’t about to lie when she saw and entered what was possibly the most amazing and mystical thing that she had ever seen in her thousands of years of life. The concept of the TARDIS threatened the laws of physics, and the real thing simply bent time and space itself. Princess Celestia was, to say, absolutely dumbstruck by the whole thing, almost as much as Twilight and Rainbow Dash had been when they saw into the blue box earlier.
“To be honest with you three, I didn’t even mean to come here. I’m going to make a completely wild and irrational guess, and say your universe pulled me in! ….Actually, that might not be so irrational. But on with the point! I didn’t mean to come here, so something WANTS me to be here.” Princess Celestia decided to share her thoughts,
“Doctor... Who are you?” The Doctor sighed at having to answer this question for what he thought was almost the millionth time.
“I’m The Doctor. Simple as that! Now, time for imagination!”
“What brought me here? Has anything unusual been occurring lately?” Rainbow Dash sprang up to answer the question.
“Well, there was a really gross storm last week! Nobody’s sayin` that they helped out with it, I’m starting to think it wasn’t any of the the ponies that did it, ‘cause it would’ve taken a lot more than just a few of us to get a doozy like that one going!” Twilight and Celestia nodded their heads in agreement. The Doctor sat in a small bout of confusion.
“Err, would you care to elaborate?” Rainbow Dash cocked her head, and answered,
“Uh, I said that I didn’t think any of the pegasus ponies made up a part of that storm. I’m thinking that maybe we didn’t have anything to do with that storm, and maybe it just came naturally.. which is really weird, ‘cause you know, natural storms aren’t ever really that strong, and even--”
“Rainbow Dash, I think he understands now, dear.” Princess Celestia had cut her short.
“Yes.. I think I get it now. The flying ponies make the weather here?” Rainbow Dash looked at him as if he had just drooled all over the ground, and even cringed a little at the mistake he’d made.
“Uh, duh, the Pegasus ponies..” making sure to put as much emphasis as possible on the word Pegasus,
”..make ALL of the weather! You know, except for that storm that happened last week.” The Doctor was simply fascinated. “Constructed weather! That’s downright genius! I wonder why none of the other universes had ever thought of that..” The Doctor was immediately lost in his own thoughts, but quickly returned after the three other ponies had exchanged awkward glances with eachother. “So, what do we do now, Doctor?” Twilight asked in a respectful but hurried tone. “Now we save the world. From what, I have no clue! And that just makes it even more fun.” At this point, one pony may have thought that the three ponies had reached their maximum amount of complete, pure dumbfoundedness, and it would take an act of murder to shock them once more.. That one pony was, once again, proven wrong.